mostly dealing with/figuring out “mental inventory”
Writing this a day late. That’s all right, though.
Got up late. Made progress on the “mental inventory”.
My room is shaped like an upside down “L”.
I mentally subdivided it into three areas “entrance”, “connective” and “main room”.
In the “connective”-part is my table with my computer. Where I do all my work.
The main-room is mostly empty space and a bed. I need lots of empty space to play VR.
And to not feel like a caged animal and become extremely depressed.
I started day 1 by pushing all my stuff, all my containers into the “main room”.
So I deliberately created chaos, to force myself to start a new room-organization from scratch.
It was fairly organized before… but the organization tended to decay. So it was not good enough.
Then I ended up organizing the “entrance” and the “connective”-part.
All drawers/containers/things/objects have assigned places and I memorized where all my objects are. Inventorizing it all in a nested list.
On day 1 and day 2, I added objects from the main room and neatly and intentionally organized in “entrance” and “connective”.
Everything in those parts of the room was intentionally laid out. I practiced visualizing the room and mentally flying thru it.
So I changed betwen visualizing/rearranging/documenting in the list.
Adding more and more objects.
Seeing all my objects with that level of clarity… I was surprised how clearly I was able to do that.
I am not naturally a visual thinker… but my occasional visualization exercises and meditation practice over the years must have paid off.
It felt very empowering.
However… day 2 still suffered from the problem that most of my room was in chaos.
And I’m still not a visual thinker by nature.
Day 1 saw me taking taking double my usual Lisdexamfetamine dose to help me out with the visualization part and to get me to build the necessary momentum to start it all.
That and a three hour meditation session combined with it.
Day 2… I took only my normal dose (for safety reasons) and I made some progress for a couple hours… further did good work organizing and adding important objects, learning about how to make my environment an extension of myself.
But there were many things I didn’t know how to deal with. Updating the documentaiton was slow and annoying. Most of my room was still chaos, I had to climb over all my stuff to get to my bed… that was kinda depressing.
And I couldn’t maintain the visualization-vividness of day 1. So I kinda… dissociated and ended up reading “The Wandering Inn” for…. ten hours from 16:00 to 6:00.
Normally hyperfocus does not get quite that bad.
I avoid videogames, since they provide continuous never-ending entertainment.
Most literature is not appealing to me anymore. And I am a fast reader.
But… well “The Wandering Inn” is among the largest webfictions. And even though I skim large parts or skip… it just…. keeps being interesting 😦
It’s not that this practice is prone to such hyperfocus-breakdowns.
It’s that I spend the last week (or longer?) before this reorg-attempt being in continuous hyperfocus reading this beautiful story.
So… there was a habituation aspect there. And since it never ended… well my mind did not have closure.
Today is day 3. I planned on reading another hour after breakfast… which turned into 3 hours.
I finally figured out the underlying issue:
I gave myself an impossible task. Or rather had fuzzy/unrealistic success criteria.
“Find new/better places for all my stuff and memorize it all”
That is actually too difficult, takes too long and too inefficient.
Too long, because… well there’s a lot of small stuff.
Too diffiuclt, because sometimes I can visualize really well… till I can’t anymore.
I think I’m getting better at this, but I have to pace myself.
Too inefficient, because… most things aren’t actually needed. Pareto-principle and all that.
And even with what I did, there are still resolution issues.
I didn’t want to dismantle my computer/cabling setup, since it’s fairly well done already.
And I’m sick of doing that again this moment.
So I only roughly documented all the stuff that’s on my table, but not where exactly my laptop/mouse/keyboard/other peripherals/remotes/penss/notepads/etc. is supposed to be.
Or how long the cables are and where they go.
Or how long each cable is, or what kind of tag it has.
Cable management is a complex affair with an adjustable, electric standing-desk.
Even though all cables are labelled, I end up changing my setup a lot and making changes.
If I make an effort to straighten it all out, it will end up messy again at some point.
But visualizing/memorizing/rearranging that much stuff, that quickly is still beyond me.
Similar issues with the cable-box. Keeping my cables organized… quickly being able to connect peripherals or switch out monitors or laptops… very important to me.
All those cables were already labelled on both ends, showing me the length and what they are.
But I can’t really memorize that many objects at once.
So I had to group the cables together by type and vaguely memorize how I place them in the box.
Over time I will incrementally memorize the “usb c”, “radio cables”, “usb a to micro-usb”, “ethernet” (and so on) bundles.
Over time, I will increase the resolution of my mental visualization, so to speak.
So I ended up figuring out, that… this “mental inventory” cannot be done in a couple of days.
It is a continuous process in increasing the resolution of what I have.
Adding more objects when needed.
And keeping the chaos at least semi-organized in big, fuzzy chunks.
Figuring out how I have to go about slowly increasing resolution, how to add objects… well now I know. Do it incrementally and slowly over time.
Low-resolution areas don’t get new stuff.
Integrate things from the chaos-areas, when you need them.
Carefully balance mental review, modification, documentation and further integration as not to confuse yourself. (and how to do that)
Allow adding clothes-containers with high fuzzyness (because clothes are important to have immediate access, and knowledge where each article of clothing is, can be developed later).
And the most important one:
Organize chaos. At least roughly compact it, so you can freely move about in your room.
So now I have a rough understanding of how to do the “mental inventory”.
Within the magical system/my synesthesia coding, the spatial/orange/fifth aspect is much better developed now.
Over time, I can incrementally and periodically improve the resolution of my visualization.
And the completeness of it.
This is my personal room. Over the following weeks, I can finnish it. Get more used to it.
Do the kitchen, the bathrooms and organize other spaces.
But I can be happy about what I achieved now.
From this stable foundation, I can shift my focus to the other aspects.
Processes/Habits are a part of the teal/memory/sixth-aspect and can be much better cultivated.
By having a clear idea where everything is and is supposed to be, my environment will be much less prone to falling into chaos. If it’s easy to remember where everything is supposed to be, I will remember to always put tools back.
So over time… I will never have to waste time tidying up.
Mis-en-plas will be a guaranteed feature.
The cultivated orange aspect, implicitly will create processes and habits.
But I will not focus on the teal aspect. But real habits/automated behaviour?
Something like “get up at specific time every day”/”do this exercise program”/”remember to shave everyday”/”keep track and review your commitments”…
That is something that is far beyond me.
You cannot run a periodic macro, if your code itself is buggy or your program crashes all the time.
So next up is the red/first aspect of “formal organization/planning” over the blue/forth aspect “time”.
And also probably the orange/spatial-aspect for software (window management etc.).